一件有趣的事

很久很久以前 ，发生过这样一件有趣的事情

有一只猫和一只猴子
，一天，猴子在火里发现了一些栗子 ，他很想吃它们
，但又怕烧了自己的手 。于是，他找到了猫和猫说： “啊！这有多好栗子 ，味道可真香啊！猫
，我亲爱的朋友，你有象人的手一样的爪子
。您是唯一可以把栗子从火中取出来的。为什么你不试试看呢？

猫听了猴子的话 ，受宠若惊，愿意为猴子做任何事情
，她把她的爪子伸到火里，并开始从火中捡栗子 ，每次捡出一个栗子都烧猫的爪子一下 。

“有和人的手一样的爪子多么好呀？猴子说
。 “尝试获得一些更多。我们共同来分享这些 。  ”

因此
，猫从火中取出了越来越多的栗子，但是 ，当她取完了栗子的时候
，她发现，猴子吃了所有的栗子
。

这就是火中取栗的故事 ，很有趣
，一直沿用到今天。

One of the interesting things

Long long ago, There have been such a fun thing.

there lived two animals a cat and a monkey.One day the monkey found some chestnuts in a fire.He wanted very much to eat them,but was afraid of burning his hand .So he took the cat to the fire and said:“Ah!how good those chestnuts smell!Cat, my dear friend, your paws are made just like man’s hands. You are the only one who can pull the nuts from the fire.Why don’t you try it?
”

The cat was flattered by the monkey’s praise.She was willing to do anything for him.So she put out her paw and began to pull the chestnuts out of the fire.She burned her paw each time she pulled a nut out.

“How fine it is to have hands like a man!”said the monkey.“Try to get some more .we’ll share them. ”

So the cat went on pulling more and more chestnuts out of the fire .But when at last she turned for her share of the nuts. She found that the monkey had eaten them all.

This is how the term“cat’s paw
”has come into use.

英语3-5分钟的笑话

英语 故事 是英语教材中提升学生学习兴趣 、展现学习要点的重要载体,是英语教学无法绕过的槛 。我整理了幽默的英语小故事 ，欢迎阅读!

　幽默的英语小故事篇一

名声与艰苦劳动

During the Gulf War ，my sister
，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet ，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag.

海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗
，她请房子的维修工?一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说 ，他帮助挂美国国旗
，无论如何都不该收钱
。

Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph.

珍妮来到当地报杜 ，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时
，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人 。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名
。

"I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.”

他回答说:“那我可没时间 ，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。 ”

　幽默的英语小故事篇二

独自在家

My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late
，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first ，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped.

我妻子独自在家时
，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人 。一天晚上，我工作到很晚
。我妻子听到有人敲门 ，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停
，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫 ，随后她的叫声越来越大 。敲门声很快地停了
，她这才松了口气
。

The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!"

第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱 ，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了
，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。
”

　幽默的英语小故事篇三

彼得的长相决定了分数

One semester when my brother, Peter ，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis
，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时 ，有一个学期
，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业 。彼得同意了
。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-.

The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big ， ”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."

那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低 。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调
，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽 ，脚也过于大了。
”

The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.

第二天
，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼 ，并说:“好
，可以得A-
。”

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短小幽默的英语小故事

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？
”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说 。 “你真是个好孩子 ， ”妈妈骄傲地说
。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？
”

“她是个卖糖果的 。”

Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:

(1) inform v.告诉

(2) nest n.窝；巢

(3) description n.描述

(4) encourage v.鼓励

(5) resemble v. 相似；类似

18.鸟窝与头发

我姐姐是一位小学老师
。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。

“是什么鸟呢？ ”我姐姐问她 。

“我没看到鸟儿
，老师，只看到鸟窝
。
”那孩子回答说。

“那么 ，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道 。

“哦
，老师，就像你的头发一样
。 ”

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:

(1) poisonous adj.有毒的

(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式 。

我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗？
”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

“是的 ，亲爱的，”她回答说
，“你问这个干什么？ ”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头
。”

A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

摔倒的女人

上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口 ，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来
，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了 。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚
。我正准备扶她 ，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下
，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？
”

英语笑话（一）

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小 。但除此之外呢 ，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤
，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子
。这个答案很有意思吧？

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼 ，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”
，也有“鸡眼 ”的意思 。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的
。你说呢？

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语 ，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉 。虽然这不是治疗方法
，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了
。

英语笑话（二）

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物 。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人。

英语笑话（三）

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久 ，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元
。在银行柜台
，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦 ，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我
，先生，也请你相信这些钞票 。这都是真正的美元 ，它们是从美国直接带来的
。
”

英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦
，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的 ，我的小狗不认识字。”

英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧

-- 服务员
，

这个龙虾只有一只爪 。

-- 对不起，先生 ，这只肯定打过架了
。

-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了 。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼
，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃
。门开了之后 ，再用你的脚把门推开。 ”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？
”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊 。天哪
，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答
。

英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid"

A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."

忠告“年轻者 ”

这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，

千万别进退休社区 。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西 ，抬东西或者装东西时
，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧
。
”

英语笑话（八）Which woman?

One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.

On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

哪一位女人？

一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物 ，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘
，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃 。”

我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？ ”

英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs

"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

医生住在楼下

“医生
”她冲进屋后大声说道
。

“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

他从头到脚打量打量她 ，然后大声说：“太太
，我有三件事要对你说 。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二 ，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变
。第三
，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。 ”

英语笑话（十）One Engine Left

A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

只剩一个引擎

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意 ，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了 。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的
。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿
，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎 。但请你们相信好了
。只有一个引擎我们也能飞 ，但要晚三个小时了。
” 正在这时
，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎 ，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了 。”

回答者：lovemydream - 高级经理 七级 7-5 10:08

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评论者： YABNV - 魔法学徒 一级

其他回答共 2 条

Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin

g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

逻辑推理

小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况
，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里
。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声 ，知道他并不会游泳
，所以她就急忙跑向河岸 。谁能告诉我这是为什么？ ” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？
”

[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外 ，还有“河岸 ”的意思
。

Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？你停止打你老婆了吗?

This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses．

One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations．

“I want‘yes’or‘no
，’
”thundered counsel．“There is no need for you to argue the point！”

“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’ ”mildly responded the witness．

“There are not！
” snapped the lawyer．

“Oh ，” said the witness
，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife？ ”

这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。

有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释 。

“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’ ，
”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论
。”

“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。 ”这位证人温和地回敬他 。

“不存在这样的问题！”律师厉声打断他
。

“噢
，
”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗？”

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子 ，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出
，但我知道答案 。

老师：请说说看
。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

这些可以吧

英语幽默小故事三分钟 ，英语口语测试难不难

短小幽默的英语小故事

1.Lady First 女士优先

A teacher asked her class: "Is the sentence ' The ox and

the cow are in the fields' correct?" Most of the children said: "Yes, it is all

right!" And only one little boy said: "No, it is not correct. The lady must be

mentioned first."

女士优先

一位老师问班上的学生： ”公牛和母牛在田里“这个句子对吗？
” 大多数学生回答说：“对
，一点不错 。”

只有一个小男孩说：“不对，应该先说女士。 ”

2.Where is the egg?

Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?

Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.

Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?

Student:In the cake,Sir.

鸡蛋在哪里？

老师：你能用“鸡蛋
”一词造句吗？

学生：可以
。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。

老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？

学生：在蛋糕里 ，先生 。

幽默小故事一：慎重许愿

Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

慎重许愿

一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日
。他们恰好在同一天出生。

庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了 。她说
，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望
。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手 。“呯! ”的一声 ，她的手中出现了一张票
。

接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻
，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人 。
”

仙女拾起了魔术棒
。“呯!” ，他变成了90岁。

幽默小故事二：袋鼠与笼子

(Kangaroos and the Cage)?

One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem--how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage. They came to the conclusion that the cage was placed too low and decided to raise it from one to two meters high. But the next day the kangaroos were still at large and they again raised the cage to three meters.

有一天
，动物园的管理员们发现袋鼠从笼子里跑出来了， 于是开会讨论 ，一致认为是笼子的高度过低
，所以他们决定将笼子的高度由原来的1米加高到2米 。结果第二天他们发现，袋鼠还是跑到外面来 ，所以他们又决定再将高度加高到3米。

Quite beyond their expectation the next morning they saw the kangaroos still free to go about. They were alarmed and determined to go to all the length by raising the cage to the height of ten meters.

没想到隔天居然又看到袋鼠全跑到外面
，于是管理 员们大为紧张，决定一不做二不休 ，将笼子的高度加高到10米
。

Later a giraffe, while chatting with some kangaroos, asked them, “Do you think they will go on raising your cage? ”

一天，长颈鹿和几只袋鼠在闲聊
，“你们看，这些人 会不会再继续加高你们的笼子?
”长颈鹿问。

“Hard to say,” said a kangaroo, “if they continue forgetting to fasten the cage door. ”

“很难说 。”袋鼠说 ，“如果他们再继续忘记关门的话!
”